Friday, April 6, 2007

Letter From a Foster Child in Juvenile Detention

I just returned from visiting a fifteen year old girl at the juvenile detention center. She committed no crimes. She is detained for running away from a foster placement. I'll see her again in court this afternoon.

She is easy to like. She is intelligent and personable. She has an interest in nature and ecology. She likes to read and talk about books and music.

She has been in foster care since the age of two months. I met her when she was eleven. Since then, she has lived in well more than fifty-- maybe a hundred-- different foster homes, temporary shelters, detention centers, mental health facilities and residential treatment centers. Not suprisingly, she suffers from reactive attachment disorder and a host of other diagnoses.

When I visited her at a temporary shelter a few weeks ago, I noticed that she had scars on her arms and wrists from cutting herself. She said that the cutting released her pain. She assured me though that instead of cutting she now writes songs.

She sang this song to me. She wrote it in her diary. She gave me permission to publish it for any other child or family who might benefit.

Please post a comment. I'll be sure to bring your comment to her. I'm sure she would appreciate your support.

My mama gave me up when
i was 2 months old She
didn't break my heart she
killed my soul i was beat
and my flesh was weak i
was scared and could not
speak Daddy remember you
Raped me twice now your 30+
and still paying the price
as i grew up depression took
my life i tried to kill myself
with a knife so i asked the
Lord what to do and this is what
he said

Shout shout let it all
out leave all the pain you can
do without so come on im talking
to you so come on

pain is how
i made it through i found myself
missing you every day it was
pain i was going through
so i asked the Lord what to
do and this is what he said

there are many people
with different fates yours
is to walk through heaven's
gates

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

What a powerful poem. To go through so much at such a young age will make her strong. Keep up the fight and know that you will get through this, you will be a survivor.

Anonymous said...

My dear, young friend, please see yourself as the special person you are and know that God not only loves you but is there with you. You have made it through circumstances that I cannot even imagine. God did not cause these, but he can use them to shape you into a dynamic woman of God who will have a positive impact on others. Allow God to embrace you and develop you into the woman he plans for you to be. God said "I know the plans I have for you, plans not to harm you but to prosper you, to give you hope and a future." He can use these horrible memories for good. I see the beginning of this in your beautiful talent for poetry. Stay on that path.

Anonymous said...

Your words truly moved me. You are and will be an inspiration to many as you have found the power and solace that words can provide. Keep up the fight!

Anonymous said...

Keep writing! You have a great talent and a powerful story to tell. Your story can bring hope to others who have survived similar circumstances. Thank you for sharing yourself.
Hope and Blessings.

Anonymous said...

My dear young woman, you are an amazing and beautiful person. Your poem shares your pain but brings hope and light to very dark times. God bless you, He loves you!

Anonymous said...

Wow...this is powerful! It takes a special person to be able to share her feeling in such a wonderful way. I am so glad you know God he will always be with you especially through the hard times. He has a special plan just for you, all you have to do is have faith in him and live your life the way that would make him proud. You have at least 2 wonderful gifts your writing ability and God walking by your side. Keep the faith.